I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
