Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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