ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
