if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
