I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
