drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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