goodnight i made you a song goodbye
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
