party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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