Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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