I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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