She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
