you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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