Kareoke will never be a sober sport
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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