My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
