Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
