You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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