so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
