I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
