Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
