This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
