If that was your dad, he is hot
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
