that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
