Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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