i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
