Its about making memories worth repressing
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
