so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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