You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
