nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize