I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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