There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
