Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
