I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
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