is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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