downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
