$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Less talking, more tequila
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
