I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
