it wasn't lemon gatorade
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
