Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
