We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Need sex. Gaining weight.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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