Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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