..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
