If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
