her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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