We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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