"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize