She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
