Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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