I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
