I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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