maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
