take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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