i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
