do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
