She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
