I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
