hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
