Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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