So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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