You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
