I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
