I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
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